24th of july

well,its 24th of july,its the 51 day since i knw her,around 35-40 days since im in this complicate relationship with her..

Today she shld be workin..but last night around 1am,she asked me to call her.. So i did..guess wat? Her bf ask her nt to work to accompany him..she asked me,do i wan her to work?

As always,im a dumbass tat trying to be good told her to accompany her bf..the truth is..my heart hurts..i wana see her so much,coz i juz got bak frm genting..its like 3 days since i last saw her..i miss her so much..althought i call her with 3G,yet im nt much satisfy..so hoping to see her as soon as possible..yet end up i told her to go look for her bf..i hate myself nw..i cant be honest to myself nomore..but..i love her..and wanted her to feel happy..since she cant let go and accept me,so i'll juz be her back support..

At morning..around 10am..i woke up and she msg me..she said she drove me to work..and i agree..so got everythin done at 11. She reach my place at 11.45..and i was quiet on the way..my heart still feel the pain..so reach there..i stil haven go to work..and we had some time to chat..she knws im sad..yet still,i gave her the things i bought at genting. A necklace (hearted shaped),a pair of earring (black coloured ribbon shape),and a couple keychain (heart with an arrow remove-able shape).

I planning giv the couple thing to her and her bf at the veri last min..yet she said nvm..so after the gift..we chat awhile.. I hold her hand..and give her a kiss on the lips..althought it was the 2nd kiss i gave her..but the feeling is stil special..after tat..she kiss my hand..well to be honest.. I duno wat relationship are we in..so i'll stop here for nw..

P.s : sry for bad english,was blogging with my phone during work time..